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Bubbles was 19 years old and she was in love with a bicycle helmet.
It started when she fell off her bike in the fifth grade. She’d needed seven skull staples and the doctor said she should have been wearing a helmet. So, Bubbles’ mum took her shopping at the bicycle helmet shop and there it was- pink, gleaming, beautiful.
As soon as she laid eyes on him she knew it was the end for her and the blanket.
This… This was forever. Love, at first sight.
Breaking up with Billy Blanket was hard. With his soft, fake cashmere-style warmth and his gentle frills she knew he would always hold a special place in her heart, but she couldn’t live a lie and she had to tell him… There was no easy way to do it.
Bubbles had been in love with three different objects since she was eight. It was difficult because not many people really understood it. But it was love, real love.
Bubbles and Benny, the bicycle helmet, could talk for hours, without saying a word. Benny was a great listener, a kind, and compassionate protector. Bubbles and her bicycle helmet were very happy and completely in love.
The others called her an objectum sexual, which she didn’t really mind. But it was difficult when she answered online quizzes or filled out doctor’s forms in waiting rooms because there was never a box to tick for objectum sexuals or for “things” as a sexual preference.
Bubbles didn’t really have too many friends because she was quite shy and she had known troubled times which taught her to be wary of people. But there was one girl, a girl on the bus who Bubbles liked because she smelled like freshly mowed lawns. The girl was very friendly and she didn’t think it odd when Bubbles boarded with her bicycle helmet. She even stood up for Bubbles when Bubbles and Benny couldn’t find a seat, not literally, she didn’t literally stand up for them (you only stand up for old people on the bus,) just verbally- 'cause the other kids teased the couple as they wobbled around the moving vehicle.
The nice girl said “Oi! Lay off! You lot quieten down before I force my fist down your froat and make you quieten down!”
Bubbles felt pretty good when she was around. But not as good as she felt when Benny the bicycle helmet was close by. Bubbles really enjoyed the way Benny made her feel so safe, just by being there. It wasn’t something that could be described too easily. Love is just one of those unquantifiable things.
Lately, Benny and Bubbles had been considering moving into their own place together- even though they only had the income of Bubbles’ full time job at Macca’s. It was time. They needed their space and their freedom to live as an adult couple.
Fortunately, and quite by chance, the pair were able to find, not too far away, a fine home to rent for a very fair price. You see, the home was half of another objectum sexual partnership and nobody else wanted to live inside. Other house hunters remarked that they were uncomfortable with its girlfriend spending so much time at the front gate. Bubbles and Benny were entirely unfazed.
Life was good for the lovestruck pair, they lived simply but comfortably.
Given that she was now catching the bus an extra five stops to her new home every afternoon, Bubbles became quite good friends with the aggressive friendly girl from the bus and she was happy to have a companion. She invited the bus girl over to her house to hang out and at times it was quite awkward because neither knew the other’s name and the moment to ask had most certainly passed. But, they enjoyed themselves and each silently gave thanks to God for inventing the word, “Mate.” One balmy day, the girl from the bus came over for a barbie and, through the course of the evening she, Bubbles and Benny got to talking about marijuana. The legalisation of it and such. Bubbles didn’t really mind about marijuana policy either way but Benny and the girl from the bus were adamant that its legalisation would be a positive thing in diminishing the recreational use of the drug. “Take something away from the people and they want it with all their strengf.” The girl from the bus said. “Make it okay and nobody wants nufink to do with it. Ruddy need tah make broccoli illegal, ay!” She laughed. And then she politely moved to the other side of the room and began to roll paper filled with medical marijuana which she needed to lessen the pain of her chronic back injury.
Later in the night, after the bus girl had left, Bubbles emptied the bus girls ash tray into the bin, stacked their dirty plates in the dishwasher and retired to bed with Benny. Unfortunately, one of the paper butts from bus girls doobie was not entirely burned out and, in the bin, it began a fire. The fire spread through the house and as siren sounds grew close and the entire house became engulfed in flame, Bubbles and Benny emerged, as if in a dramatic movie, with Benny wrapped protectively around Bubbles’ head, keeping her safe. The pair suffered minor external injuries and mild symptoms of smoke inhallation but their pain was nothing compared to that of the house’s romantic partner.
She was absolutely gutted.
As was the house, a few days later.
It started when she fell off her bike in the fifth grade. She’d needed seven skull staples and the doctor said she should have been wearing a helmet. So, Bubbles’ mum took her shopping at the bicycle helmet shop and there it was- pink, gleaming, beautiful.
As soon as she laid eyes on him she knew it was the end for her and the blanket.
This… This was forever. Love, at first sight.
Breaking up with Billy Blanket was hard. With his soft, fake cashmere-style warmth and his gentle frills she knew he would always hold a special place in her heart, but she couldn’t live a lie and she had to tell him… There was no easy way to do it.
Bubbles had been in love with three different objects since she was eight. It was difficult because not many people really understood it. But it was love, real love.
Bubbles and Benny, the bicycle helmet, could talk for hours, without saying a word. Benny was a great listener, a kind, and compassionate protector. Bubbles and her bicycle helmet were very happy and completely in love.
The others called her an objectum sexual, which she didn’t really mind. But it was difficult when she answered online quizzes or filled out doctor’s forms in waiting rooms because there was never a box to tick for objectum sexuals or for “things” as a sexual preference.
Bubbles didn’t really have too many friends because she was quite shy and she had known troubled times which taught her to be wary of people. But there was one girl, a girl on the bus who Bubbles liked because she smelled like freshly mowed lawns. The girl was very friendly and she didn’t think it odd when Bubbles boarded with her bicycle helmet. She even stood up for Bubbles when Bubbles and Benny couldn’t find a seat, not literally, she didn’t literally stand up for them (you only stand up for old people on the bus,) just verbally- 'cause the other kids teased the couple as they wobbled around the moving vehicle.
The nice girl said “Oi! Lay off! You lot quieten down before I force my fist down your froat and make you quieten down!”
Bubbles felt pretty good when she was around. But not as good as she felt when Benny the bicycle helmet was close by. Bubbles really enjoyed the way Benny made her feel so safe, just by being there. It wasn’t something that could be described too easily. Love is just one of those unquantifiable things.
Lately, Benny and Bubbles had been considering moving into their own place together- even though they only had the income of Bubbles’ full time job at Macca’s. It was time. They needed their space and their freedom to live as an adult couple.
Fortunately, and quite by chance, the pair were able to find, not too far away, a fine home to rent for a very fair price. You see, the home was half of another objectum sexual partnership and nobody else wanted to live inside. Other house hunters remarked that they were uncomfortable with its girlfriend spending so much time at the front gate. Bubbles and Benny were entirely unfazed.
Life was good for the lovestruck pair, they lived simply but comfortably.
Given that she was now catching the bus an extra five stops to her new home every afternoon, Bubbles became quite good friends with the aggressive friendly girl from the bus and she was happy to have a companion. She invited the bus girl over to her house to hang out and at times it was quite awkward because neither knew the other’s name and the moment to ask had most certainly passed. But, they enjoyed themselves and each silently gave thanks to God for inventing the word, “Mate.” One balmy day, the girl from the bus came over for a barbie and, through the course of the evening she, Bubbles and Benny got to talking about marijuana. The legalisation of it and such. Bubbles didn’t really mind about marijuana policy either way but Benny and the girl from the bus were adamant that its legalisation would be a positive thing in diminishing the recreational use of the drug. “Take something away from the people and they want it with all their strengf.” The girl from the bus said. “Make it okay and nobody wants nufink to do with it. Ruddy need tah make broccoli illegal, ay!” She laughed. And then she politely moved to the other side of the room and began to roll paper filled with medical marijuana which she needed to lessen the pain of her chronic back injury.
Later in the night, after the bus girl had left, Bubbles emptied the bus girls ash tray into the bin, stacked their dirty plates in the dishwasher and retired to bed with Benny. Unfortunately, one of the paper butts from bus girls doobie was not entirely burned out and, in the bin, it began a fire. The fire spread through the house and as siren sounds grew close and the entire house became engulfed in flame, Bubbles and Benny emerged, as if in a dramatic movie, with Benny wrapped protectively around Bubbles’ head, keeping her safe. The pair suffered minor external injuries and mild symptoms of smoke inhallation but their pain was nothing compared to that of the house’s romantic partner.
She was absolutely gutted.
As was the house, a few days later.
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