Twinnies

Dotti and Lotti were twinnies. They looked the same. They dressed the same. They sometimes spoke the same. But mostly they were very, very different.
Dotti enjoyed playing rummicub and Lotti liked playing boys. Dotti saw the souls of people and Lotti liked the look of them. Dotti consumed tubs of rum and raisin icecream and Lotti ate vanilla soft serve with great frequency, particularly the McDonalds variety.
Dotti was looser when drunk and Lotti was a bit of a loser.
Neither girl knew there was a difference in spelling the words ‘loser’ and ‘looser.’
Dotti and Lotti’s lives were about to change.
Mrs. Potty, the twins mother, was reading Women’s Day magazine one Friday afternoon when she spotted an advertisement for a competition in which one could win the position of girlfriend to a very wealthy elderly gentleman.
“Hmmm…” Thought Mrs. Potty. “I couldn’t possibly pick just one of my daughters to submit in this competition… and I couldn’t possibly enter them seperately lest I am subconsciously biased towards one. I must enter them both, as a pair. Two for one. What sane 80 year old man would not see the beauty of that?”
Well, Dotti and Lotti made it to the first round of in-person interviews without too much trouble. They were a little surprised to discover they had been entered in this competition but, nevertheless, they quickly became excited at the idea of beating other girls- plus Mrs. Potty told them there was a very good chance the old man would have rum and raisin icecream and vanilla soft serve at his mansion.
As they sat and waited by the pool for their 5 minute interview with the old geezer, Dotti and Lotti sipped on virgin mojitos, the mojitos were alcohol free because the girls were not yet 18.
Dotti poked at a slice of lime with her straw. “Lotti,” She said, turning to her sister. “You know how they say ‘money doesn’t grow on trees?’”
“Yeah, Dot?”
“Well, limes grow on trees don’t they?”
“Yeah, Dot.”
“So, why do limes cost so much money?”
“Oh…” Lotti thought for a while. “It’s probably because they’re green, which is what colour money is in some countries. They’re very valuable because they’re green. Besides, I think there are money trees, I saw one on an ad’- that’s just an expressionism.”
“Oooooh.” Dotti said, understanding.
“Hey Dotti,” Lotti had a thought now. “You know how this man is a millionaire because he has many millions of money?”
“Yeah, Lot.”
“Does that mean I’m a tenionaire? Coz I’ve got thirty dollars, and that’s quite a lot of tens.”
“Yeah, I think that is what it means…” Dotti was pretty sure. “I hope millionaires like rummicub.”
“Hmm. I hope he likes icecream. Did you see any icecream?”

Now, the girls weren’t really just waiting for their 5 minutes with the geezer. They were being filmed on hidden camera and watched by the old man and his team of advisors. The old man’s advisors thought the twins were remarkably marketable. The geezer, whose name was Bert, really enjoyed the look of Dotti and Lotti, and he quite liked the sound of them too. He thought they were naïve and cute, vibrant and amusing- they reminded him of his daughters, when they were younger. In truth, Bert had already made up his mind based on the picture their mother had submitted of the two girls giggling in the spa. He thought it a little odd for a mother to send, but arousing just the same. At his age he couldn’t take any source of natural arousal for granted.
“Philip,” Bert said now, not taking his eyes off the monitor screen. “When did you say these girls would turn 18?”
“I do believe they have a birthday approaching next Tuesday, sir.”
“I see.” Bert was tired from all the excitement. “Tell them to come back then- with their bags packed. Tell them they shall have anything their sweet hearts desire, and tell them I shall give them each a freezer full of icecream in their bedrooms. But also, tell them they have full access to the estate pool and gymnasium… And I do hope they enjoy the use of it equally as often, if not more often, than they enjoy their freezer full of icecream. In fact, make that a stipulation of their contract.”

And so, Dotti and Lotti moved in with Bert. And they lived well.
They both adopted small, strange looking animals to live in their giant bedrooms with them, and their mother came to visit on Sundays.
There were many sexy parties hosted at Bert’s mansion so the girls were kept very busy dressing up, dancing, eating icecream, thinking up new themes for sexy parties, swimming at the pool, and chit-chatting with celebrities. Sometimes, Dotti and Lotti became exhausted due to their full-on lifestyle so they went on holiday to places like Las Vegas and New York to relax a little.
They were never gone too long. Partly due to a contractual obligation which stated that they weren’t to leave the mansion for more than 42 consecutive hours, and partly because they missed Bert when they were away from him.
Both Dotti and Lotti had grown to love their old geezer like a perverted father in-law. Bert’s love for each of the girls was so strong and so passionate that they never felt the need to be jealous of each other. Plus, they were quite isolated, despite the many sexy parties, so they had not much choice but to enjoy each other’s company. Lotti learned to enjoy rummicub and Dotti sometimes went to Lotti’s room just to share in the enjoyment of her sister’s vanilla soft serve machine.

Though this story has been written in the past tense, it still continues today. Despite the rosy appeal of their current lives, Dotti and Lotti are like twin Juliet’s in that their love is fated to end in tragedy. There can be no other way.
Either they will turn thirty and be tossed out on their tuchus, like Fran Fine, or Bert, their elderly Romeo, will die of old age.

I'm not sure yet which will come first.

Twinnies